Prepare for Christmas: The List

Every year, usually around December first, I start a list of people I will exchange Christmas gifts with. My immediate family is pretty small, just my parents, my brother and my sister-in-law. Over the years the list of family we exchange gifts with has gotten shorter as kids grow up and the economy shrinks everyone's disposable income.

Then there are a few friends, but that list is short, too, since I introduced the "Why don't we get together for a nice dinner in January?" policy.

Then come the co-workers, including the few people I supervise. For these people, I'm always looking for something unique, personal, inexpensive, and fair, so that each person in the group gets something that is exactly comparable to all the others. These kinds of gifts of obligation are my least favorite. Of course I appreciate my co-workers and of course I don't spend enough time expressing that, but something about doing it at Christmas just feels false, like I can never quite do the right thing to express how much I appreciate them in a season where we are all too busy to stop and appreciate a damn thing.

And then there is a Secret Santa in at least one group, and then...my list isn't short anymore.

I hate the idea of giving gifts just to have something in your hand at a party. I feel like everyone loses when I stand in front of the pre-boxed gifts at Target and pick the thing that will get me closest to the $10.00 gift limit set by the governing body of each social group.

Always, as the pressure mounts and the Christmas countdown accelerates and the lines get longer and my bank account gets smaller, I wish I had planned ahead. I start getting really creative with homemade gift ideas when the only way to finish them is to cut my sleep down to zero and eat Taco Bell every night so I don't have to give up any precious craft space for cooking. (Which, yes, defeats the purpose of homemade gifts to save money.)

So this year, I'm doing it differently. I'm going to start my list in the summer, set up space in my guest room for each project, and prepare everything I can, short of the edibles. Maybe I'll try shopping for those, too, stocking up on flour and sugar, sweetened condensed milk and chocolate chips, as soon as it's practical.

If you'd like to play along at home, today is the day to make your list. Don't forget anyone:

• immediate family
• secondary family: Now is the time to plant the seed of a Secret Santa gift exchange for everyone over the age of, say, 15, or a household-to-household Secret Santa exchange if you have a herd of in-laws, nieces and nephews.
• friends
• co-workers: Again, is it possible to inspire your office to give to a charitable organization or all chip in for a special lunch instead of individual gifts?
• business associates: Not a category I have, but I know it's a big one for some individuals and small business-people
• the "Help": This can be anyone from the paper boy to your children's teachers, all those people you have some kind of non-personal relationship with that you feel a need to recognize during the holidays - more on this group later as we plan gifts.
• charity - Think now about what organizations you would like to, or will be asked to, support as the holiday season goes on.